People may call it harsh, cold, or just plain rude, but I disagree. Before I jump into this idea, let me explain a little bit about myself, which I hope will put it into perspective for you.
I have always been one of the first people to find imperfections. Since I was four years old, my parents have told me I was a perfectionist. I would spend hours perfecting one skill. I wouldn’t be able to stop until I felt it was good enough. Today, I am the same way, and this concept has been applied to everything in my life. Whether it be in schoolwork, cooking, or political correctness – it needed to be perfect, according to my standards. Which happen to be incredibly high in their own respect. My character has even fallen victim to over-analyzation, all because of this desire to reach perfection. Although my attention to imperfection mostly reflects back to myself, I inadvertently see the imperfections in others. I’m too detail oriented to turn a blind eye to it. It’s a blessing and (mostly) a curse, but the fact is: I can’t help it.
AND THAT’S THE FIRST REASON WHY I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR BEING BLUNT: IT IS WHO I AM.
Now, let me clarify what I consider to be appropriately blunt. It’s impolite, and just completely uncalled for, to point out someone’s zit or rash. Let’s be real, they knew it was there long before you did. You have no business doing that, and quite frankly, it’s absolutely rude. That’s not what I’m talking about. I am talking about when you feel the need to stick up for yourself, someone else, or when you just need to set someone straight. This doesn’t mean you have a right to get into someone’s face, or tell them off. But it may call for some verbal-bluntness.
And finally, let me make clear the circumstances in which I am referring to. This wouldn’t typically go for political debates or ideas of that nature. It would, however, go for things like bully personas, believing in pseudoscience (aka mumbo-jumbo), or incorrectly speaking on a topic. So, if I am ever in a situation when I feel a person’s moral compass is off, I feel I have the obligation to say something. And that’s really just because of who I am. If I see you’re being mean, or you’re not seeing someone else’s perspective, I will say something to you, no matter who you are. Even if I see someone talking straight bull, I can’t just sit back and let them live in ignorance. If they’re happy in that bliss, so be it, but I will know I spread my goodwill as best I could. Those are the type of instances I can be cut-and-dry blunt while remaining absolutely guilt-free.
So, if you’re still not really sure why we shouldn’t apologize for being blunt, here are some examples.
My husband is in the United States military. What does that typically mean? We are looking at spending a lot of time apart. Trainings, moving across the country (or even the world!), and of course, the dreaded deployments.
Many people don’t understand what that means for us. It means we will be in a long distance marriage at times.
It means that we will miss birthdays, holidays, graduations, and anniversaries together. It means we will not be able to stand hearing other couples’ agony for going a few days apart. These are my heydays; I swear to you. I can’t just let a friend whine and moan over a few missed days when I have endured months of handwritten letters and long-distance calls. I will be blunt. I will make them aware. The point of this is, sometimes we don’t realize what we say or how our views affect others. At one time, I was in that person’s shoes. I was very insensitive to the issue. So, I would love to save anyone the trouble of saying it to the wrong person. I know that if I’m straight forward, it will change the way that person thinks.
I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR BRINGING AWARENESS TO CULTURAL INSENSITIVITY.
My career is in the mental health field, and one of my biggest pet peeves is when I hear someone say, “I don’t believe mental illness exists,” or something like, “Electroconvulsive therapy is torture.” These things are just not true. Especially because it is my field of interest, I am absolutely obligated to give the people who say such things my piece. “Mental illness has been scientifically proven. It is absolutely a real thing,” I have often said. “Electroconvulsive therapy is not what you’ve seen in horror movies,” is another popular misconception I make sure to set straight. (It really is one of the biggest myths in psychiatry!)
I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR PASSING MY KNOWLEDGE OF A SUBJECT TO SOMEONE ELSE.
Families and their arguments. Need I say any more? Well, I live in Maryland, but my immediate family lives in New Jersey. We are about three hours away. It’s not too bad – it could be worse. This Thanksgiving was particularly difficult because it was the first I have been away. My husband and I drove up to share the holiday with them, but we couldn’t stay all weekend. We disappointed some people. I was upset, they were upset, my husband was upset. I was trying to find middle ground in it all, but it just wasn’t good enough for anyone at the time. It’s frustrating because I’m trying to find my life away from home, and although I am farther than I wish we were, it is what it is, and I can’t be stretched between everyone constantly. In this instance, I had to speak my mind and be blunt about it. I had to explain my perspective in the situation. I was not going to just sit back and let my feelings be looked over. In the end, my point got across and we all came to an understanding. There are plenty of instances when people just might not see your side of the story, and you have to tell them straight.
I WILL NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR COMMUNICATING MY FEELINGS AND PERSPECTIVE.
These things, I will never apologize for, along with many more instances that being blunt is a must. I hope this article has inspired you to embrace your own backbone and realize it is okay to tell it like it is sometimes. Stick up for yourself, your friends, strangers, and what you believe to be right. Never let your feelings get swept under the rug. Sometimes being blunt is the only option you have, and it gets through to people. So, set ‘em straight and don’t look back!
Check out my other straight-forward articles like, 4 Reasons Why You Should Be Putting Yourself First.